The Daily Quote: You are Responsible for…

” If you want to move forward in life, you have to make it happen for yourself. You are responsible for your own life, and if you’re sitting around waiting on somebody to save you, to fix you or to even help you, you are wasting your time. Because only you have the power to take responsibility to move your life forward and the sooner you get that, the sooner your life gets into gear. This is what I know from doing 25 years and thousands and thousands of interviews on The Oprah Winfrey Show:  It does not matter where you come from, whether from dire circumstances… It does not matter what your momma did, whether she had a PHd or NO-‘D.’ What matters is this moment – NOW, your willingness to see this moment, accept it, forgive the past and take responsibility and move forward.

 

-Oprah Winfrey

The Daily Quote: Hurt People Hurt People

“Keep in mind, hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their own pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain that they have some unresolved issues inside. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome…”  – Joel Osteen

aaa

I had an acquaintance comment recently on how patient & kind I am. Another friend said she told someone that I am the most compassionate person she knows, & that I would help anyone. This week, one of my coworkers called me ‘spiritual’ and ‘understanding.’ Most people who spend any time around me nowadays would probably tell you that I wouldn’t hurt a fly; that I would never dare harm a soul. Some would shudder in disbelief at the thought of me angry & shouting, much less throwing things or in a physical altercation.

I am told that I am ‘Loving’ and ‘Sweet.’ I am told that I am ‘Patient’ and ‘Peaceful.’

While flattered, & pleased that people think positively of me, I can’t escape how incredibly uncomfortable it makes me feel; like a fraud.

I am no stranger to anger. I am no stranger to darkness. I come from a very painful past, full of fighting & hurt & anger & hopelessness. I used to be a person who hurt people.

Hurt people hurt people.

I have managed to hurt most, if not all of the people that I love.

Some people left for good. A few loved me even more fiercely because they could see through my anger, carelessness or coldness to the pain & the fear that I carried.

It is an endless cycle. If you knew the truth & the weight of the guilt I still sometimes carry, you would understand why I will probably never feel that I am a ‘good’ person. I live in spiritual & emotional debt, & there is no way that I, alone, can ever repay those I have grieved. The only thing that makes me ‘good’ is the mercy of Allah. The Almighty, the Most Compassionate, Most Merciful, The Forgiving. He hides my sins & allows people to think good of me. He continues to heal the wounds of my heart & allow me to be a light, no matter how dim, to help others & be all of these things that I never, ever thought I could be: Loving. Patient. Kind. Compassionate. At Peace. His Mercy allows me to get up every day & try to be the beautiful person that He allows me to portray. I am still a work in progress. It takes effort & diligence. I want to please my Creator.

Healed people heal people.

I still carry the pain, but it is no longer in the form of heavy chains. It is much lighter now, just a tool; a lens through which I can see past the mask of people like me; people who are hurting. The Almighty has blessed me with a heart that is open to people’s stories, their hurts, their despair. My eyes can see through the smiles to the reality behind people’s eyes. Sometimes it’s challenging. People often don’t wish to be seen & vulnerable, but my lens can see through anger & tough exteriors, especially those of children – where there hides pain & fear & loss. I can spot it, because I have it, too. And I can meet it with the Love that He has filled the holes in my heart with.

To those I have hurt because of my own pain, I am truly & sincerely sorry. My apology doesn’t remove the hurt or the anger, the embarrassment or betrayal you felt. I have not forgotten the things I did. Seeing you keeps me humble & is a constant reminder of who I truly am – that I am not perfect. I am not the picture of humility & patience & love & grace that the Almighty allows some people to see. I am still a work in progress. I am still trying & I have not left behind the wrongs that I have committed.

Some people may never see me for the person that I now strive every day of my life to be. I have already painted a picture in living color for those I have hurt. Only the Almighty can change that if He wills.

This is my truth.

Peace & Blessings ❤

The Daily Quote: I Think You Left Someone Out

I Love You

When I saw this picture, it gave me all those warm, fuzzy feelings inside. I pictured my children, swaddled up as newborn babies, fresh & full of potential. I pictured my Husband, on our wedding day, all of the memories we had yet to make, & the dreams we had yet to chase together.

And then, those warm, fuzzy feelings went away. Darkness.
I didn’t believe anyone had ever felt that way about me. Neither of my parents had wanted me. I was a burden; an inconvenience. Everyone who had ever taken care of me as a child had told me more than once what they’d had to go through because of me.

I removed the picture from my screen & closed my laptop.
I resumed the usual feelings of self-loathing.
Logic & reason & faith told me that none of this mattered, because the Almighty, Allah created me – not my parents, not any of those caregivers. Allah valued me & saw my worth, even when no one else did.
But those feelings of worthlessness always crept in, separate & apart from my sense of faith & what I tried & tried to tell myself.

“I love you
For all that you are
All that you have been
And all you’ve yet to be.”

Finally, it hit me. The problem was not that “nobody” felt this way about me, or “nobody” had showed me enough love as a child.
The true problem was that I couldn’t say I felt this way about myself.
As a grown woman, if I didn’t like the way I felt & I didn’t feel valued, it was my responsibility to do something about that. I had to choose to love myself. For all that I am, all that I have been, & all that I’ve yet to become.
If I could look at someone else & say & feel this beautiful affirmation of love, then WHY didn’t I give myself the same gift?
Because I have to look in the mirror at ME everyday. I have to LIVE inside my experiences, including who I have been in the past, & who I am yet to be.
If I held myself at all responsible for the happiness & well-being of my children & my Husband, then WHY did I not hold myself just as responsible for validating & loving myself?

This was a profound lesson.
I always tell my children, “You are my favorite girl in the whole world,” and “You are my favorite boy in the whole world.” I hold their little cheeks in my hands, look into their eyes, & kiss their foreheads. I want them to feel so special & so loved.
And then I walk away feeling empty inside. Inside, I’m still the child who didn’t have that. Who was in the way. Who was neglected. Abused.
I realized, I love them so much, just trying to feel loved, myself.
“I think you left someone out,” I told myself.

I walk to the mirror, & I speak words of love & acceptance to the child inside,
“I love you
For all that you are
All that you have been
And all you’ve yet to be.”

I imagine holding those little chubby cheeks of the little girl me in my hands. I look into her eyes & I kiss her forehead. I am there to love her when she feels unloved. I want her to feel so special, so important to me.

The Daily Quote: You’re not a body. You have a body. You are a soul.

You’re not a body. You have a body. You are a soul.
by : My Private Jannah
Just a reminder
  • Your nose is the right shape.
  • Your skin is the right shade.
  • Your lips, hands and feet are the right size.
  • Your height is perfect and so is your natural hair color/texture.
  • Your voice and laugh are just right.

Whatever you dislike about your physical self is actually in your mind.

  • Fashion didn’t create you.
  • Western standards of beauty didn’t create you.
  • Your culture’s idea of physical attractiveness didn’t create you.

Allah created you and He doesn’t make mistakes. Let that sink in for a moment.

Acknowledge your body as what it is:

a present from your Creator that allows your soul to journey from one realm to another.

Practice gratefulness by taking good care of this gift that was entrusted to you.

  • Be as kind and merciful to it you as would be with an honorable guest.
  • Respect it.
  • Love it.
  • Compliment it.

Feed it with the right amount of healthy food and be active to keep it fit, strong and energized.

  • Get enough sleep.
  • Moisturize your skin.
  • Take care of your teeth, hair and nails.
  • Exercise your brain.

You’re not a body. You have a body. You are a soul.

Source:

Source: You’re not a body. You have a body. You are a soul. by : My Private Jannah